A Curious Moment by Ndaba Sibanda

Author:Ndaba Sibanda [NDABA SIBANDA]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Warrioress Publishing
Published: 2023-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

A Speechless Assault Crime Story And Other Little Stories

My eyes fell upon a tattered, old and abandoned copy of the much-loved Mahlabezulu community newspaper. It was frighteningly greasy and messy as if it had been used as toilet paper once or twice before but l could not resist the urge to pick it up. Possibly the greasiness and messiness of the paper wheedled me into action. I read about a couple that was arrested for not only brutalizing their children, but also for marrying off two of their teenage daughters to two hairless and toothless octogenarians respectively in exchange of beer and two tiny goats. My face twitched into a dreadful frown.

I paused and momentarily my mind meandered away, away to a bizarre

story that was narrated by my friend, Rhodes a few years back…

“The twenty-something year old man secretly entered a woman’s house. It was at

night and the lady was sleeping under her mosquito net in her bedroom”.

The narrator had paused for some time, laughter getting the better of him. “What happened?”

I had asked curiously, impatience saying: let us go mate. Rhodes—the narrator, my colleague and friend —had told me countless crazy stories. Not this one. This one was something else.

“The lady woke up only to discover that there was a man lying on top of her. Not only was he on top of her, he was also trying to take off her clothes. Can you guess what happened next?”

I had thought that was an easy question. “She screamed at the top of her voice”. That had been my prompt and confident response. I had responded with confidence and eagerness. However, according to Rhodes, the story had its twists and turns.

“Actually, on discovering that the lady was astir, the stranger decided to be a bit romantic by kissing her, and the woman did not disappoint because she quickly opened her mouth wide as the man buried his tongue into it. Then…she bit his tongue so hard that it was cut off and remained in her mouth!

The stunned man fled for dear life, BLEEDING. However, the pain was so unbearable that soon he sought medical attention at a local hospital. He was arrested for his sexual assault crime.”

I remembered how a series of wows reeled out of my mouth. It floored me. Rhodes had said he found the commentators` analysis more intriguing than the story itself. “Some people claimed he would use sign language to warn other rapists that crime does not pay at all. Other people teased that he would kiss goodbye to expressions like: I’m tongue- tied or tongue in cheek. One guy imagined if the investigators asked the felon what happened, he would probably confess: I`m speechless”.

The next page had its other half cut off. On what was left of that page l read about a self-confessed prophet, miracle-spinner and pastor whom the congregants bowed down to, and whatever he decreed he was granted without any modicum of hesitation and questioning by his vulnerable church members, including claiming

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